And the Days Drone On

I'm certain that I've mentioned it before, but the last time I returned to Ireland after having spent 7-8 weeks with my family, the gravity of the situation hit me hard. Once again, I've found the harsh reality of being away from my family hard to swallow. The recency of events such as holding my son and kissing my wife are still firmly imprinted upon my brain.

Over time, the imprinting will soften. The brief respites back home are hardly enough to renew them. I'll easily lose myself in work and the feelings of closeness to my family that I've enjoyed for the past seven weeks will fade. It's getting old. Let me rephrase: It's getting older.

Yet, the light is at the end of the tunnel. I'll be transitioning off the project over the next 4-5 months. I can't wait.

Vacation Time!

It's about freakin' time! Beth, RJ and I are picking up my parents from the airport tomorrow and driving down to Tralee for a week of vacation!

Tralee is in County Kerry in Western Ireland. Even though it does happen to be the city that my company is headquartered in, I plan to do now work (right . . . ) while on vacation. I've done the whirlwind tour of County Kerry over a weekend, but it will be nice to actually spend some time out there instead of racing around the Ring of Kerry and popping my head out of the window every three miles to take a picture of the gorgeous scenery.

We haven't made any plans on what to do yet, but we have a 4 hour drive from Dublin to Tralee to plan our time out there. I look forward to getting away from work and spending time with my family (as work has made that hard, even though they are here).

Eyjafjallajökull Strikes Back

You thought it was under control? Awww, hell no! The Icelandic volcano which threatened my family's return from the Emerald Isle is erupting en force once again. Tonight, Eyjafjallajökull got its revenge and grounded my flight. So now I'm not returning to Ireland until Tuesday evening.

Who said wishes don't come true? Although I'm a little disappointed that the flight didn't get out - since I have a ton of things to catch up with back in Ireland - I was secretly hoping to spend a little more time with my family before heading back. Beth tells me that her Mother's Day wish came true.

So perhaps it's an angry volcano, or perhaps it's the divine hand of God. Either way, I've got another two days with my family and I'm going to cherish it.

The Current Arrangement

It was absolutely wonderful to have Beth and RJ with me in Ireland. Oddly, that is the longest amount of consecutive time that I've been with my family since last summer. Today, my first full day back home, I'm having doubts about going back to Ireland.

Yes, I still have an apartment there. Also, I just told them that I would be willing to stay on for the Build phase of the project (we just completed the Design phase), which would keep the current arrangement going through September.

I'm not sure I can make it.

I'm continually amazed at how quickly RJ is learning things now. He's also gotten pretty attached to his Daddy . . . and his Daddy has gotten pretty attached to him. It's going to get harder and harder to return to Ireland without my family.

I'm accustomed to taking on too much. In fact, it is one of my (many) faults. I love to learn new things by taking on entirely too many of them. However, it's easy to say that I haven't found anything more enjoyable than this new experience of being a father. Over the next two weeks I'll be reevaluating my situation, discussing it with my wife and my VP to see what's really workable, because I don't think that the current arrangement (me in Ireland 100% of the time with Beth and RJ visiting about 50%) will work for me much longer.

Connemara, Part 5 - The Cliffs at the End of the Trip

As the sunset on Friday night, we started packing to head back to the apartment in Dublin. There was one last stop on our agenda, though: The Cliffs of Moher. This was the third and final miscalculation that I made in Irish driving time. I'm sure I'll make more miscalculations, but this would be the last one that I made on this vacation.

The Cliffs of Moher sit in County Clare and not technically in Connemara. But they tower over the ocean beneath and provide some spectacular scenery.

I give you the Cliffs of Moher:

Connemara, Part 4 - Connemara National Park, Achill Island

The last two days of our trip, we decided on hitting Connemara National Park and Achill Island. Though Achill Island isn't officially in Connemara, it was part of our trip. These were probably the two most beautiful places that we went.

Connemara National Park was a perfect place to take RJ as it had everything that a 15 month old could want: A playground, sheep (he got over his episode at Airfield Farm), Connemara ponies and a trek up the side of a mountain. Ok, perhaps the trek up the side of the mountain isn't something that a 15-month old would want - unless he's riding his Dad like a pony. :)

Here's a picture of RJ enjoying a Diet Coke (bottle):


Friday, we decided to take a short drive up to Achill Island in County Mayo. Yes, there is a county named after Mayonaise (not really). The short trip (which I expected to take 2 hours) took us 3 hours. Once again, my powers of drive-time estimation were foiled by narrow Irish roads. The good thing is that the payoff was great. We ended up at Keem Beach which was an absolutely fabulous place.


We almost didn't make it here, because we passed two other (not quite as) beautiful beaches that didn't involve us driving up over that last mountain - which involved a narrow road, no guard rails and very little margin for error between our minivan and the Atlantic Ocean.

Connemara, Part 2 - A bunch of driving and a haircut

We had planned on our second day in Connemara to head out to the Aran Islands. I've heard that it's absolutely beautiful there. To get there we'd need to take a ferry across. We ran into a couple of problems.

The first problem is that we did not have an internet connection or a phone book. Being so reliant on technology has its limits. We didn't know what time the ferry left. I figured if we left by 9:30AM, we'd get to the ferry port by 10:30AM and wouldn't have to wait too long. I was half right. If we'd gotten to the ferry port by 10:30AM we would have been right on time for the ferry. The second problem was that I didn't realize is that it would take us an hour and a half to get to the ferry port. This was my first lesson in Irish driving times that I would fail to learn two or three more times on our vacation (much to Beth's chagrin). We arrived at 11AM and the next ferry was at 1PM. We decided to skip the Aran Islands.

However, we did find a nice coral beach by Carraroe to spend the day. Since we had some beautiful weather, we stuck around Carraroe for lunch and then headed back to our own beach. Here's RJ at the beach at Carraroe.



The following day, we had planned to go into Clifden to get RJ a haircut. RJ did really well. Here's a picture of him at Dog's Bay beach sporting his new do.



In those first few days, we did a bunch of driving, too. Here's a couple of my favorite spots.

Dog's Bay Beach

Lough Inagh

Killary Fjord

Happy Easter!

It's not easy to be away from family on holidays. I'm thankful that Beth and RJ were with me for Easter. Though, I did miss the usual get-together that my parents have every Easter. We made do and celebrated the holiday as best we could.

In the morning we headed out to the beach at Portrane. We didn't know it before we went there, but it became a seashell collecting expedition. We picked up a bunch of beautiful shells from the beach - though I have no idea what Beth will do with them. I suspect that they will adorn our home in McHenry in some fashion or another. The picture is Beth and RJ walking on the beach.

Later, we had a large Easter dinner that consisted of ham, potatoes, swede (rutabaga), carrots, asparagus, green beans, and biscuits. Beth did a good job with the meal and I am stuffed.

Happy Easter Everybody!

Daddy & Son Day

Today Mommy got a much needed break. RJ and I had a Daddy & Son day and Mommy got to stay at home and relax. I decided to take RJ to Airfield Farm and Antique Car Museum.

As you can see in the picture (or perhaps you can't) RJ got to see the Easter bunny hiding behind a chicken. He also got to see cows, sheep, pigs and ducks. Unfortunately, nothing interested him more than the buckle in his stroller.


His favorite animals were the chickens. He loved standing behind the fence and watching them run around. He was a little more timid around the larger animals but still liked petting the ponies.

He is not a big fan of sheep. I had him sitting on my knee next to one of the sheep pens and tried to get him to pet the sheep. The sheep bleated loudly right in his face; RJ began to cry. For the rest of the day we couldn't come within 10 feet of a sheep. Here's RJ's woolen nemesis:


We had a fun day and RJ slept all the way home. The End.

Leprechaun Hunt!

This week, I got a recommendation that I should take the family up to Carlingford (map). Last night, I checked out their visitor's bureau online and I saw that they were having a Leprechaun Hunt . . . today! Hell Yeah!

The last time that there was a Leprechaun Hunt in Carlingford was about 20 years ago shortly after P.J. O'Hare (a local pub owner) found leprechaun clothes, some small bones, and some coins - which are the only leprechaun artifacts deemed "authentic." The tickets were 5 Euro each and the proceeds went to a local Children's Hospital and a local Hospice care. We were happy that the money was going to a good cause.

The hunt started out with some good craic (craic is Irish for fun - pronounced "crack") as we followed a bagpipe band out of town. However, the bagpipers weren't paid to make the trek all the way to the hunting grounds. There was a grueling uphill climb to get there and we almost didn't make it. When we started out, we were right behind the bagpipers. By the time we got to the hunting grounds, we had been passed by scores of leprechaun hunters. I think that the leprechauns' plans were to tire us out before we even could start looking for them. They're plan worked.

We only found one leprechaun, but we brought him with us (picture below). We didn't find any of the hidden leprechauns that were worth cash money. However, it was still a fun day (with more than the expected share of exercise) and we did get to keep our souvenir leprechaun hunting licenses.

Valentine's Day

Yeah, it's that day again. Here I am sitting 3000 miles away and 6 hours ahead of my beloved wife. We exchanged cards two weeks ago before my flight out to Ireland. However, it just wasn't a proper Valentine's Day for us. So, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, here is a Valentine for my wife:

Beth -

In all the world and all the days
Many are the ways
I love you.
Stubborn fights to loving nights,
Simple life to times of strife,
You are my rock, my love;
One with me,
United forever.

Happy Valentine's Day, Honey! Sorry that I'm not home with you and RJ. See you next weekend!

Giving it Legs

My wife asked me the other day why I decided to write a blog. My answer: "I need a place to vent. I need an outlet." In the car on my way to work yesterday morning, I got to thinking (scary, eh?).

I said to myself, "Steve, it's all well and good to vent, but most of the time you're a pretty cheerful guy. What are you going to do when you're done venting?"

I know myself well enough to realize that without a higher cause, this blog will fail when I run out of piss and vinegar. I don't want that to happen. That is, I don't mind running out of piss and vinegar, I just don't want the blog to end when it happens.

Facing a 6 month (and possibly longer) assignment in Ireland, during which I'll be separated from my wife and son for long periods of time, I've decided to take another angle.

At it's base level, this blog is for my son. I'm writing it to pass on whatever sage wisdom I might have learned in life so that he might also learn from it (or choose to ignore it). It is, in essence, a moral will - values and a story I can share with him.

I will still tackle subjects that may not be of interest to my one man audience because it may give him more insight (if/when he reads it years down the road) into his father. I also hope that anybody else who comes along for the ride finds it entertaining and insightful. I do plan to include you all, instead of being all preachy, but at the end of the day this one is for RJ. I love ya, kiddo.

Why I Can't Say No

I've gotten some feedback on my first post to the blog. I was asked why, if the assignment is (as I put it) "a throbbing mass of stress in my head," don't I just say no. In order of pertinence, here are the reasons that I can't say no:

1. Job Security - If you read Monday's Blog, you'd know that my boss was recently let go. It was explained to me that his position had moved to Ireland and since he did not wish to relocate with his position, he was let go. I don't fully believe that's why he was let go; I think there were other factors. However, in light of the fact that my position is also moving to Dublin for the short term, I did not think it wise to turn it down. My wife gave up her career to be a stay-at-home Mom, something we both feel strongly about. As the only bread winner in the family now, I need to make sure that they are taken care of.

2. Opportunity - I truly like the project and believe in the project. It is an excellent opportunity to for me and my career.

3. Personal Experience - During the last six months on the project, I've met some wonderful people and seen some extraordinary places. I'd really like to share these experiences with my family. Who knows when we might get another chance?

Beth and I would like to adopt again. To remain active in the adoption pool, we need to maintain residency in Illinois. Thus, I'll be working in Dublin and they'll be living at home. They do get to visit a couple of times, though. I will get a few long weekends at home as well.

That's it in a nutshell - why I can't say no to the project and why they can't come with me full time. Too much is at stake for the security and well-being of my family.

Have you ever felt handcuffed by your job? Let's hear about it!